Wedding Escape

Incident 5-1
I went to a wedding over the weekend for a guy who was a pretty close friend of mine in high school. Now, normally I hate weddings and all things involved in them, but this guy was such a close friend, that I didn't mind going one bit. The problem was, we had to leave right after the ceremony and before the reception. This created an awkward moment for my wife, my mom, and I as we had to make a very conspicuous exit from the rest of the crowd as we left the sanctuary and drove away. We all felt like bums, as if they were all standing there thinking, "I can't believe they're skipping out!"

If I had been MacGyver . . .
During the service, I would have spent some time folding my wedding program into an origami paper box with a lid that could open and close. The moment the ceremony ended and the couple began to usher people out, I would have grabbed a lit candle from the side of the sanctuary while everyone's attention was on the new couple. I would have smeared melted wax all along the outside of my paper box, and then used the wax's natural stickiness to fix it to the sanctuary wall directly beneath a smoke detector. I then would have placed the still-lit candle into the paper box and closed the lid.







Perfect!





It would take the candle a few moments to burn through the paper box lid, and so I would use that time to change into a very inconspicuous disguise like this one:





Bingo!



Then, when the fire alarm finally sounded, I would have made my very inconspicuous escape with my my good friends Pete Thorton and Jack Dalton.

Till next time,
Mac